I have come to learn that Christmas, like almost everything else, is a process of change rather than a constant. Its meaning shifts focus as we grow up. Over the years decorations break and lights burn out, and we replace them with new ones. Schedules vary, so that no two Christmases are the same, as much as we might like to repeat a particularly memorable holiday season. The gifts change as we mature. Perhaps saddest of all, we lose the zeal and excitement of a child’s approach to Christmas, with its attendant sense of wonder. But for me, one feature of Christmas at our house has stayed relatively fixed, and that is our Christmas tree, which is the subject of a tradition that has remained almost unchanged, and that seems to be ever more important as the years go by.
To begin with, I’ve always
had the uneasy feeling that we’ve been committing the Cardinal Sin of Christmas
Trees year after year, because our tree is artificial. Now, I know that plenty of people have fake
trees. They’re on the shelves of
Wal-Mart every year, which probably means they’re socially acceptable, but to
me, lugging the tree down from the garage attic instead of venturing into the
winter air to seek it out is a task that carries with it a
faint sense of sacrilege. Besides, I
hate artificial plants.
So why do we have it? When my brother and I were younger, we were
allergic to quite a few things (and I still am), and bringing a needle-shedding
conifer into the house made us flare up.
Although we’ve improved, we all fell into the fake tree habit. Ironically, the notion of a real tree ousting
our traditional pre-lit affair is one I would now approach reluctantly and with
some distress. As much as I dislike fake
plants, I like change even less, and it brings out the obsessive in me.
The reason for my obsession
in this case is our vast collection (I might venture to call it a community) of
ornaments. With a new tree coming in to
host them every year, I would worry that they wouldn’t all fit, that the tree
wasn’t tall enough, fat enough, full enough.
Because in our house, the ornaments aren’t decorations, they’re the main
attraction.
At first glance our tree
looks heavy, even overloaded. If it was
a work of art, it would be called garish, unbalanced, in very poor taste. If it was a city or a town, it would be
called “diverse.” Aside from a few
colored balls dimly reflecting the light, practically every object on the tree
is an individual, distinct from all the others, with all the variation of an
international airport. There are, of
course, snowmen, angels, and various renditions of Santa Claus. But surrounding them is an unlikely multitude. There is a delicate glass bird, a glittering
nest complete with eggs, and a tiny wreath made of bells. Pom-pom mice lie in walnut shell
hammocks. A tree frog and a salamander
lurk among the branches. There are
Nativity scenes made of glass and of wood from the Holy Land.
Some of the ornaments are
simple, like a handmade paper star with my name on it and a piece of twine to
hang it with. Then there are others like
a little wooden Noah’s Ark, with a moveable elephant and giraffe and a whale
suspended below. The Batmobile hangs
next to a golden T. rex skeleton and
a grill. The Star Wars logo looms
heavily in the branches. SpongeBob makes
an appearance, as does Spider-Man, slinging a present from a rope of webbing. Undersea life swims in midair—a humpback
whale, a sailfish, and a jellyfish.
Other animals include a fox, a koala, elephants, and penguins. Bigfoot peeks through the branches beside a
large pendant ladybug. There is our
long-surviving pickle, which nearly shattered in a fall some years ago. Among many others hang a piano, a guitar, and
a knight with a feathery plume.
In my family there is a
tradition in which my brother and I each receive new ornaments every year, and
the community is often further diversified by additional ornament gifts in
addition to these. Fitting them all on
the tree is an interesting challenge, and this year, for the first time in
living memory, we’ve left some off.
It is the memories, I think, that
make our tree community such a significant facet of Christmas, coupled with the
novelty of discovering it anew each year.
I’m always amazed at what I’ve forgotten when we open the red and green
plastic tubs. But when all the ornaments
come out, I can remember each one from previous years, as far back as I can
remember Christmas. Some are as old as I
am, others even older. As a child I would
pretend they were alive. I imagined them
arguing over the best spots on the tree or hoping desperately to be placed
beside their best friends. They would
assess any newcomers, sometimes with suspicion but more often with
welcoming. And in a way they were like
friends, even though I only saw them for a few weeks each year. Yet they’ve always been nearby, in the house
or in the garage, and when I look at them they compel me to pause and remember
previous years and, like a calendar with unfilled days, to look forward into
the future.
I treasure the variety on our
tree. To me it serves as a reflection of
the variety in the earth and in life and human beings. I think this panoply of variation is one of
the greatest blessings in this earthly life, and our tree and its ornaments
remind me, every once in a while, to stop and wonder at it.
This is great!!
ReplyDeleteI especially love the last paragraph, which really sums up everything in a meaningful way...liked how you talked about the wonderment of children too.
Very funny and clever!
Beautiful
ReplyDelete